Make sure you don't start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who
don't value you. Know your worth even when they dont! ...
There seems to be one thing in life that is pretty consistent among the living and doesn't seem to discriminate. That is, no matter how much you want somebody to care for you - to respect you - to value you... you just can't force them to do so. Just because you live under the Golden Rule, "do unto others as you will have them do unto you", doesn't guarantee others will treat you the same. Because of this very thing, I feel I have had no choice but to take on the responsibility of self-protection. In doing that, I have become the very opposite of needy. I am independent to a FAULT... I can be so cynical, in fact, that I sometimes even catch myself not wanting to be around people, thinking that if they do one single thing for me, that they will want something in return. Something that I'll be unable to repay. After all, it's better to have nothing than to owe someone, right? That's what I thought anyway, it's the world I've lived in for so long. I think, because of the countless times I've been used and betrayed, I have this idea that I will be misjudged as using others. It sucks to be in those shoes! I mean, forget that they may actually be KIND people.... nope, that's impossible... to the cynical mind, they only want something from me. It has left me feeling like an outsider at times; closed off to the possibility that people may truly value me and want to be good to me.
I have allowed this feeling of disdain to deceive me for so long that I've found myself unable to receive love; love from others that really do care! This is like an ingrown hair needing to be plucked out... the longer it stays under the skin, the deeper it goes, the bigger potential there is for scarring. It's sad really.... Courage and confidence is what we're expected to demonstrate as women. To display weakness would be a calamity. We are taught to paste a smile on our face, seeking the slightest bit of worthiness, all while internally dying. We are supposed to find in ourselves worthiness and feelings of importance. Aren't we? We are uniquely created by the hand of God and He does NOT make mistakes!!! Please believe me when I tell you, you are important. You are valued!! You are smart! You are loved!! Even with all your quirks, you're an amazing being! And frankly you don't owe anybody anything!!! The only thing you owe, is to yourself, and that is to believe that you were created for a purpose and that includes receiving and cherishing love, given to you by people who care.
Smile!! Don't allow the negative voices in your head to lead the way. Let your guard down and let people love you! Believe in yourself and know that there is something special on the inside of you!! Be YOU! You are BE-YOU-TIFUL and loved!
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