"I think being vulnerable feels dangerous and I think it feels scary and
I think it feels terrifying. But I don't think it's as dangerous, scary or terrifying as getting to the end of our lives and wondering WHAT IF I would'a shown up" - Brené Brown
We all build these walls... with bricks thrown by other people. Bricks of hurt and heartache, held together with mortar of harsh words and deceit.
With every new pain, the fortress gets taller and taller, until pretty soon we are encapsulated in a world all our own. The higher the wall, the safer we feel.
Nobody can really hurt us if we don't allow them to enter. We unknowingly stay in a defended state of being... survival mode, if you will, until we have pretty much extinguished all chances of closeness.
We have so much to offer but yet put our hearts on reserve, pushing everyone away that even resembles affection. After all, if we actually let them in to our domain, we might feel something. We might become vulnerable, and for some, including myself sometimes, that's too scary to face.
We become emotionally unavailable, diving off into the abyss of work/play and whatever feels good, because we think we have those rights, and ya know, in some ways we do. Life IS about feeling good and doing what we want to do, but it's not ALL about that.
We think by not allowing others to enter our lives, that it somehow betters our conditions. We use the mentality of thinking if we ignore something long enough, it will surely go away. That's the lie we talk ourselves into believing, even though we know that can't be true.
We fight like hell to protect the very thing that makes us who we are - our heart, our mind, our spirit, our talents, our personality - only to turn around and withdraw and withhold it from others, keeping it mostly to ourselves.
Even at 14 years old, my daughter has had her heart broken. In her heart break she has asked, "why does this keep happening to me"? And the truth is, there is no other explanation for that question except for this; it's sometimes supposed to happen that way.
The key is to realize that what others do, generally has nothing to do with you. What people do and how they treat you has to do with them and their own short comings.
Don't allow yourself to get stuck in the mantra that if you don't try something, that you can't fail... THAT in itself is failure. But also, don't think that it's a failure just because you try something twice and it didn't turn out exactly how you "thought" it should. That's more of a lesson than a failure.
It's perception that ultimately directs us and let's face it, we can talk ourselves into some pretty ridiculous ways of thinking. Where our thoughts go, our lives follow. If you think something long enough, most likely that is what you're going to believe, and that is exactly how your life will play out! So always check yourself and make sure to weigh your thoughts carefully.
Don't sleep walk through life thinking that if you desensitize yourself from feelings that we're supposed to feel, that it will diminish the scars. It won't... the scars will still exist because whether you realize it or not, you'll create them for yourself.
Live the life you deserve without thinking that if you let other people in, that it's going to somehow cramp your style!! God puts people in our lives for a reason. Sometimes the reasons are beyond our intellectual resolution, but either way, just go with it!
Be brave and strong and courageous and vulnerable and whether you're alone or with others, be happy!
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