RESIDUE AND THE RUINS IT CREATES

Residue - something that remains after a part is taken, separated, or designated or after the completion of a process : remnant, remainder.

Some things don't fall apart overnight. They erode slowly and without notice, until one day what once felt amazing and solid is barely holding together! Unspoken words, unresolved pain, negativity and ingrained/unconscious (and sometimes conscious) patterns quietly corrode what used to be 'the best thing that has ever happened to you'. It lingers, like the filmy residue that covers the shower door after weeks of neglect, and it blurs your vision in relationships, friendships and within ourselves, shaping the way we connect, trust and move through life and love!!

One of the heaviest forms of residue is resentment. It starts as something small - maybe a comment from your partner that stings, a disappointment that goes unaddressed, someone important to you continuously not keeping their word, maybe holding on to a relationship with a person that brings you down, a lie (even though that's big, it's still forgivable with accountability) - but when these things get left unspoken OR completely ignored, it settles in. Over time, it can manifest into some pretty hateful thoughts, emotions and energy, making it hard to move forward with clarity and confidence.

Avoidance adds another layer. The difficult convos we dodge, the problems we pretend aren't there, the emotions we suppress- none of it miraculously disappears!! It collects on the surface, creating tension that seeps into every interaction! A relationship weighed down by resentment and avoidance doesn't explode; nope, it's far worse... it's a slow fade until there's nothing left to hold onto!! Which leads to walking away from people you truly love, but see no way to continue with.

When we choose not to clean up our mindsets and behaviors, our patterns get stuck on repeat... like a continuous loop!! Creating CIRCLES (just like Post Malone sings about). Apparently some people thrive in this type of disfunction. And until YOU break the cycle, you will keep finding yourself in the same toxic relationships, the same frustrating friendships, and/or the same draining situations. It's NOT just bad luck!!! It is literally because you refuse to do the hard things to clear the residue. Unresolved wounds or traumas have a distinct way of steering our CHOICES, leading us back to what feels familiar, even when it's unhealthy!! A familiar spirit, if you will.

Even the energy we carry can become residue!! Constant negativity, complaining, or in my case the little snarky passive aggressive remarks that I use to serve as a reminder that maybe I'm pissed off (hey, nobody is perfect lol :)), all of it creates a heaviness that can push people away and can keep life feeling stagnant. The energy you put out alwayyyss comes back - like a boomerang! And also, you reap what you sew... so if you're out there causing a scene in people's life simply because you choose to move in unhealed energy and you don't WANT to do better, then it will come back to you.

The hard part is the clean up. Clearing residue requires intention AND repetition!! You can't just think one positive thought and then get mad when you don't see immediate results!! It has to be a continuous choice! And sadly, most people are too scared to dig into those painful areas or too emotionally wounded OR they're just too ate up with other UNIMPORTANT things that take up their time and they feel like they'd rather close their eyes and pretend it's not there. You must speak the TRUTHS you've been avoiding, own your part in the mess, break unhealthy cycles, and FACE what's been left unresolved, even when it hurts!! It's no different than working out at the gym... I DON'T ALWAYS FEEL LIKE GOING but I know in the long run that's what I have to do to maintain my physical health! It works the same way with emotional/mental health! It don't always feel good, but it's necessary.

Healing isn't about forgetting the past- it's about FACING YOUR PAST and sifting through the things that burden your life!!! NOBODY ELSE IS GOING TO DO IT FOR YOU!!! It's about freeing yourself from the WEIGHT of it!! Because life, relationships and even self-worth feels lighter when you finally let go of what's been holding you down!!

Choose YOU, love YOU, stand up for YOU!!! At the end of the day if you don't choose yourself, who else will!??

❤ily