"The tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do" ~ James 3:5
There is an old saying, I'm sure we all remember it: "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"... that's what I grew up on! This couldn't be further from the truth! In fact, words can hurt more and longer than that of physical injuries!
There are people who think that if you do get hurt by words that it somehow makes you weak! Don't you know you're not allowed to be hurt?.... (insert eye roll). You should just 'toughen up' and just 'get over it'! It is absolutely crazy, in my opinion.
Our brains process emotional pain very similar to physical pain! Research actually shows that the area of the brain that is activated by emotional pain overlap significantly with those triggered by physical pain. Which explains why bullying, insults, lies and criticisms hurts so bad!! I think I'd rather get punched in the stomach than be misled or lied to!!
You have NO IDEA what someone has been through in their past!! Hurtful words and/or lies can negatively affect a person's sense of self and ultimately can change the direction of their lives completely!! It can and DOES have a deep psychological impact, and yet, in the times we're living in, people think they can just say anything they want to and it's supposed to be accepted!!
Monsters aren't born, they are created. Today's world is a breeding ground for social media monsters who are in competition for clicks. One wrong (or right) post or person goes viral and the comments BLOW UP WITH MEAN, RUDE, HARSH BULLIES WHO WILL SAY ANYTHING TO ANYONE. Cruelty breeds cruelty! And sadly the person on the other side of it is just expected to "take it like a man/woman"... it's disgusting!! And trust me, it's happened to me so I can speak to it personally. There are thousands of comments on my Tiktok that I can't even read because they're so rude.
And people say "don't let the words have power over you", but what does that mean!? Does that mean you're just supposed to forget what you just heard or just read!!? Like it's not supposed to bother you!? Impossible!! It's a process to get over stuff like that, and depending on where you came from and the trauma's you've had, you might not ever get over it!!!
But the good news is, if harsh and hurtful words can have a negative impact on your life, then surely overtime, positive and kind words can have the opposite affect (or effect, sorry I never can get that right :)) Stop being so judgmental to people you barely even know or maybe even those you've known forever!! Find SOMETHING to be grateful for every day. Believe it or not it does have a positive impact on your mood to cultivate thankfulness in your everyday life!!
Also, remember that it doesn't make you lame, weak, 'over the top' or 'too much' to express your emotions, whether it be feelings of not being enough, or that of weakness, fear and/or sadness! It is valuable to your mental health to get the jumbled up, chaotic mess out of your body!!!
It actually makes you STRONG and self aware to be able to share what you think and how you feel... but again, we must still WEIGH OUR WORDS in an effort to not hurt someone else in our own pain!!
Think about how it is going to impact the other person but don't let the fear of how they might react hold you back from expressing yourself!! YOU ARE IMPORTANT and VALUABLE TOO and what you have to say is valid!
Take inventory of your truth!! Say what you mean and mean what you say!!! Don't be a double minded person. We were all created for connection and community and the more people who choose grace and love, the better off this world will be!! It all starts with you!! I know that's cliché but it's true!!
So choose kindness and weigh your words! One person CAN make a difference.
❤ILY